


You Were the Song All Along

by NoirSongbird



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Severe Illness, Temporary Character Death, except please don't, someone take my musicals away from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirSongbird/pseuds/NoirSongbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo returns from training early, severely ill. Hux is furious.</p><p>Inspired by the end of "Rent."</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Were the Song All Along

**Author's Note:**

> I would apologize for this but I am not at all sorry. I listened to Rent and decided that after I gave Hux his Temporary Character Death moment, I needed to share the love and give Kylo one too.

“General,” Mitaka said, standing at perfect attention in the door to Hux’s office, “Kylo Ren has requested permission to land, and his shuttle is currently being directed to Dock Three. I, ah, thought you would want to know.”

Hux knew he should probably be embarrassed; his relationship with Ren was something of an open secret, more “open” and less “secret” after they had a massive public row just before Ren left to “complete his training” under Snoke. Ren had angry-kissed him, Hux had indulged for a moment before practically throwing Ren onto the shuttle and demanding he not come back until he was done being an abject failure, and it was all in front of a hangar full of troopers and officers.

He regretted his words, of course he did, driving a knife into the open wound of Ren’s insecurities and twisting was unfair, but what was done was done.

Well, there was nothing else for it, he would have to meet Ren once he was off his shuttle and swallow his pride and apologize. Much as he was loathe to admit to that kind of weakness, he _did_ care about Kylo, and he knew well enough that his harshness with the man was at least partially the only way he could think of to express concern. (Surely Kylo knew that, Kylo was a _mindreader._ )

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” he said, standing up and sweeping his greatcoat over his shoulders. By the time he made it to the hangar - there were few short walks on a three-kilometer Star Destroyer - Ren’s ridiculous shuttle was already pulling into the hangar. Hux found himself genuinely sort of excited - it would be good to see Ren again, things were so _boring_ without him, and not just in Hux’s bedroom. Few other people were willing to challenge him without three paragraphs of stuttered apologies beforehand, and with him gone for so long - the longest stretch since Kylo had first been unceremoniously deposited on the _Finalizer -_ Hux was beginning to realize how much he relied on his often-insolent co-commander.

Whatever pleasant emotions he might have begin to felt vanished as soon as Kylo actually stepped - stumbled, more like - off the shuttle and down the ramp. In most other circumstances Hux would have worried about propriety, but he had kissed Kylo in front of half the crew six months prior, propriety was out the window. He ran forward and caught the sagging Knight, heart racing.

“Ren, what in the seven hells,” Hux said, slightly desperately. He was pale, burning up with fever, shivering badly, and it was obvious he had lost weight from the way his robes hung far more loosely than they should. Than they used to. This was...not what Hux anticipated, when he considered what “completing his training” in the Dark Side might mean, by any stretch of the imagination. He looked like death walking.

“Got sick. Not sure from what. Snoke said…” His voice was raspy and ragged. He inhaled, and then started coughing, ragged and racking, and Hux felt himself getting very, very cold. “If I couldn’t beat a simple virus, I wasn’t...wasn’t worthy to be his apprentice. You can heal with the Force but I’m not...I’m not good at it. I tried, Hux, I tried so hard but I couldn’t...” He sagged heavily on Hux, and there was no way around it, Hux still couldn’t really support him, so he took them both down to the deck floor, and he glared back at the obviously stunned collection of officers.

“Do all of you need a map to find your own arses? _Someone go get a kriffing medic,”_ Hux snarled, and he watched as about four different people scrambled off in the direction of medbay.

“No,” Ren shook his head. “No medic, please, Snoke said -” He stopped, seized by another fit of coughing.

“Snoke isn’t here,” Hux said harshly, and when Ren flinched, he reached up to soothe him with gentle gloved fingers in his hair. “I don’t care what he said, I’m not letting you die on me.” Kylo laughed, briefly, before it too became coughing.

“Too late,” he said quietly, and he rested his forehead on Hux’s shoulder. “I know you said not to come back until I was done being a failure, and I’m not done failing yet but I didn’t…” He inhaled briefly. “I didn’t want to die there. Alone. So I took my shuttle and I left. He didn’t care anymore, he knew what was happening.”

“You’re not a failure, Ren,” Hux said, voice surprisingly gentle. He glanced back, gritting his teeth. What the hell was medical _doing?_ There were medbays close to each hangar so injured soldiers could be transported quickly - surely they should be here by now. “I can’t even say I was angry, I was just...I almost lost you, on Starkiller.”

“Sorry,” Kylo said, closing his eyes and practically curling up against Hux. “I failed you, I got your weapon destroyed, and now I’m gonna…” He went limp and silent, and his ragged breathing began to slow, and Hux felt a mounting sense of panic.

“Ren, no, don’t you _dare,_ damn it,” Hux hissed, and he pulled the man closer to him, heart racing. “I did _not_ drag you off Starkiller and make sure you were patched up just to see you die from some goddamned _virus_ because Snoke’s head was too far up his ass to allow you _basic medical treatment,”_ his voice was quiet, because he knew he was growling treason into a dying Kylo Ren’s hair, but he didn’t care. He had no connection to the Force, but he swore he could feel Kylo’s presence in it dimming. “I will _kill him_ if he takes you from me, and maybe even if you make it, for coming so damned close,” distantly Hux realized he was trembling, and there might have been moisture at the corners of his eyes.

He couldn’t hear Kylo’s breathing anymore.

“Damn it, Ren, _no,”_ He pleaded. “I can’t lose you, you impossible _fuck,_ I love you.” There was a hand on Hux’s shoulder, a medical officer - _finally,_ too late - trying to pull him away, but he refused to be moved. “ _Ren!”_

There was a long moment of agonizing silence.

And then suddenly, improbably, _impossibly,_ Kylo stirred, and Hux could feel him breathing again, and the General let out a tiny, undignified sob of relief. He slowly let go, but Ren’s fingers weakly curled in his and even when he was loaded up on a stretcher and being hauled off he refused to let go, so Hux let himself be dragged along.

Kylo was hooked up to all sorts of monitors, a breathing mask, and three different IVs - to treat dehydration, malnutrition, and the illness itself. Dantari flu, completely treatable, though it would be touch and go since Ren’s body was so ravaged and he was weakened by something beyond the illness itself. Hux stayed with him the entire time, and no one argued with him. One of the perks of being a General, or maybe of the utterly unseemly display on the flight deck.

Finally, once Kylo was stabilized, they were left alone. The Knight stirred, lifting the breathing mask off his face and taking a long, deep breath. He was staring at Hux with warm, affectionate eyes, and Hux sighed, shifting closer.

“I died,” Kylo said, very quietly. Hux swallowed. He still felt cold, even knowing that it was more likely than not that Kylo would make it. “I was definitely...I mean, I was in this bright space, I think it was the Force?” He was still feverish, Hux knew, so he just let the man ramble. “I spoke to my grandmother. To...to Padmé Amidala. She told me it wasn’t my time, and that I couldn’t give up, that I had to fight. And I could hear you, saying you loved me, and I…” He smiled. “I knew she was right.”

“Of course she was.” Hux said. “And of course I love you, you absolute moron, I don’t tromp through foot-deep snow on a dying planet for just _anyone_.” Kylo smiled fondly.

“I love you too, you arrogant ass.” He readjusted the breathing mask and then closed his eyes, and this time when he went limp Hux had the reassuring beep of heart monitors to tell him that Ren was just asleep, not dead.

He carefully disentangled their hands, tucking Ren’s arm onto the cot and bending down to press lips to his still too-warm forehead.

No matter how much he wanted to stay, he couldn’t. He had work to do, and a Supreme Leader to overthrow.


End file.
